Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Wherein I Engage in Profanity in Order to Be a Blogger

I found this opening to an article about the recent hubbub over Pandagon's Marcotte slightly amusing:

Two bloggers hired by John Edwards to reach out to liberals in the online world have landed his presidential campaign in hot water for doing what bloggers do — expressing their opinions in provocative and often crude language.


If that's what bloggers do, though, what am I doing? Perhaps I should start ramping up the crude language. So here I go:

The wyndow she undoth, and that in haste.
"Have do," quod she, "com of, and speed the faste,
Lest that oure neighebores thee espie.
This Absolon gan wype his mouth ful drie.
Derk was the nyght as pich, or as a cole,
And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole,
And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers,
But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers
Ful savorly, er he were war of this.
Abak he stirte, and thoughte it was amys,
For wel he wiste a womman hath no berd.
He felte a thyng al rough and long yherd,
And seyde, "Fy! allas! what have I do?"
"Tehee!" quod she, and clapte the wyndow to,
And Absolon gooth forth a sory pas.
"A berd! a berd!" quod hende Nicholas,
"By Goddes corpus, this goth faire and weel."

By Goddes corpus, it's like South Park, and just as good; and if you disagree, I'll put my hole out for you to kiss ful savorly. There, I did it. Now, having finally done what bloggers do, I'll return to what I do. Cheers.

[The quote, of course, is from Chaucer's The Miller's Tale.]