Tuesday, June 29, 2004

More Poetic First Drafts, with Comments Out Loud

We all have voices

We all have voices
We've all been places
We've all seen times
We all have rhymes
And rhythms in our heads.

And we all have masks
That cover our faces
We all have our places
Amid hundreds of races.
We've all known virtue
We've all been sin
We've all lost faith
In this human race
And gained it back again.

Age of Wonders

We live in an age of wonders,
So wonders we cannot see;
Bones may turn to stones
And Leviathan swim the sea,
Rocks may fall from clear blue sky
And the human heart is free.

We live in an age of wonders,
Marvels are our ways;
Who but knows that the trilobyte
In some small corner without light
May live, even in our days?
The stars that have hung in night,
A million years rehearsing light,
May suddenly cease their rays.

We live in an age of wonders,
Glories adorn this dome;
We may look at the ships sunk in the deep,
Unlock the brain of a man in his sleep,
And among the planets roam;
But throught it all we laugh and weep,
And in our hearts most guarded keep
A yearning for our true home.

The first leans to being a bit sappy and silly; it would perhaps make a better song lyric than reading-poem, although I confess to liking it, so prob. will only modify it slightly. The second is better, but too clunky; I need to rework some of it (especially the last stanza) for smoothness, and make the catalogue of wonders a bit more structured....

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