Sunday, August 01, 2004

The Swedish Chef Does Malebranche. Bork bork bork!

What my thesis would read like if it were written by the Swedish Chef:

Zee furce-a ooff thees ergooment cun ieseely be-a meessed, su it mey perheps be-a useffool tu luuk et it mure-a clusely. Bork bork bork! [2] Sooppuse-a oooor vurld trefeler mufes sooccesseefely thruoogh pueents A, B, C, D, und I oon zee iert’s soorffece-a. In descreebing zee vhule-a juoorney he-a ixpects tu meke-a, he-a meeght vreete-a in hees juoornel:

<A, B, C, D, I, …> ,

thet is, “Furst A, zeen B, zeen C, zeen D, zeen I, und su oon. Bork bork bork!” Let us zeen cuntrest thees veet mufement elung zee x-exees ooff a Certeseeun greed. Bork bork bork! Ve-a meeght descreebe-a thees es:

<0, 1, 2, 3, 4, …>,

thet is, “Furst 0, zeen 1, zeen 2, zeen 3, zeen 4, und su oon. Bork bork bork!” Noo ve-a hefe-a un interesteeng cuntrest. Um de hur de hur de hur. In but descreepshuns ve-a hefe-a used zee illeepsis oor “und su oon” tu gestoore-a tu a cunteenooeshun ooff zee sereees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zee tvu gestoores hooefer, ere-a elmust pelpebly deefffferent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zee “und su oon” ooff zee furst sereees is nut zee seme-a es zee “und su oon” ooff zee secund sereees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Ve-a meeght poot zee deefffference-a by descreebing zee furmer es ‘indeffeenite-a’ und zee letter es ‘inffeenite-a’. Zee inffeenite-a is nut merely a gruoop ooff feenite-a theengs cumbeened veet a gestoore-a tooerd zeeur cunteenooeshun; it is sumetheeng thet cun be-a recugneezed oon its oovn veethuoot roonneeng thruoogh zee sereees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Ve-a du nut need tu juoorney zee inture-a x-exees tu see-a thet it hes nu ind. Bork bork bork! Ve-a cunnut edeqooetely ixpleeen zee inffeenite-a by tekeeng a sereees ooff feenite-a theengs und recugneezing thet it cunteenooes; it moost cunteenooe-a in a perteecooler vey, nemely, un inffeenite-a vey. Bork bork bork! Zee inffeenite-a sereees dues nut joost cunteenooe-a; it cunteenooes inffeenitely. Bork bork bork! Thees ergooment serfes tu shoo us thet, feenite-a thuoogh ve-a mey be-a, ve-a du in sume-a vey perceeefe-a zee inffeenite-a. Melebrunche-a sooppurts thees cleeem veet a foorzeer cunseedereshun. Geumetry cleerly deels veet inffeenites (inffeenite-a leenes, inffeenite-a deefisibility, und su furt). Zee cleeems mede-a by geumeters, hooefer, ere-a nut tenteteefe-a joodgments besed oon treeel und irrur oor unelugy. Bork bork bork! Oonce-a yuoo understund zee mezeemeteecs, it is nut necessery tu test it oooot egeeenst zee feenite-a theengs ve-a feend in zee vurld eruoond us. Um gesh dee bork, bork! In mezeemeteecs zeere-a seems tu be-a sume-a sense-a in vheech ve-a seemply ‘see-a’ thet sumetheeng is inffeenite-a. [3] Zee cleeem thet ve-a, thuoogh feenite-a, reelly du in sume-a vey perceeefe-a zee inffeenite-a, is a vell-fuoonded oone-a.

Via The Dialectizer.

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