Tuesday, June 27, 2006

There's Texas, and Then There's Austin

A Texas joke that has been going around:

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was busy at work for six days. Michael the Archangel came upon him as he was resting on the seventh day.

He asked of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.

God pointed to different parts of the earth. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Texas -- the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be renowned throughout the world."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the people I put in Austin."

To understand just how funny the joke is, you have to know just how different Austin tends to be from the rest of Texas; it has a hippie reputation, due to things like Hippie Hollow (the only clothing-optional park in Texas) and Eeyore's Birthday Party and Spamarama, a profound obsession with Whole Foods, and the unofficial motto "Keep Austin Weird".

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